I haven't written here in a loonng time. Tonight I'm writing because I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated because I feel like I am sabotaging myself. I'm getting married in 1 year. I have been engaged for 2 years. I have only bitched about getting married my whole life. Now that it is here, I'm in denial. I'm depressed. I'm eating bad. Working out less. This is the one thing I have wanted my whole life and I can't even work towards my goal?! I don't need to be 100lbs but damn it I would really like to not be 221 lbs. I had done really well doing crossfit and eating paleo. I went down to 180 in about 8 months. Then I switched jobs, had a new schedule and yada yada yada. Apparently, depression to me means eating cupcakes and chips and fast food. I'm tired. I'm tired of being mad at myself about my weight. I'm just going to change and do it. Maybe if I write about it it will keep me going for longer than my 11 day streak since my last post in September 2013. Tonight I took my measurements. Tomorrow I will find my old notebook and compare them to where I was a year or 2 ago. Each day I'll log my food with myfitnesspal.com - I mean, I could share it here, that wouldn't hurt I guess. I will say that it is not like I hate myself but I just am a tad disappointed because I know better and yet here I am once again. Alright, enough rambling for now. Here are my stats:
5'7''
221 lbs
belly button 46’'
high waist 36’'
boobs 44’'
hips 49’'
thigh 28’'
arm 13’'
neck 13''
Did I really have to measure my neck lol! Should I include some pics? Dare I call them before pics? Since it's 11:58 tomorrow will be day 1.
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