Defeated

Sometimes I feel defeated. It's rather frustrating. My rational brain tells me that it is ok and it will get better. Really, the defeat I am feeling is mental and spiritual. There isn't a huge problem I am facing, a bad relationship, a terrible job, jail, death...It is simply defeat of the spirit. What keeps you going even when you feel you can't go anymore... Normally, I can pull myself out of this defeat and keep on chugging along. Sometimes it takes days, weeks or months...The problem is the damage that is done during that time. Not drugs, alcohol, or anything like that. Negativity, self loathing, eating, sleeping-these are all the symptoms. The damage is by no means irreversible. It is easily a simple fix. But getting from defeat to victory takes time. Just when I am almost victorious there goes my pride, soaring, feeling invincible only to be attacked by bad habits, bad choices, procrastination, shame. Defeat of the spirit and heart wreck havoc on the brain. The brain is the ultimate command center of your body. When feeling defeated you attract similar qualities. It is time to rise up. Maybe others may not feel this way. Am I the only person to feel it is either all or nothing? Go hard or go home? I know there must be a happy midway between these 2 extremes. I am not bipolar or clinically depressed. Don't get the wrong idea. I just feel like I am in a slump. Someone very dear to me said something along these lines: the more you want, the more you have, the more you work, the more stress you have; the less you want, the less you need, the less stress you have. I think his saying was more like decrease your wants and something about your needs. I cant remember exactly. Sometimes we want too much that we don't realize we may already have that but are too busy looking up or at others instead of paying attention to what is in front of us. I used to think that being in a relationship meant some sort of balance. If one person is feeling down then the other person would boost them up. That is not always the case. What we fail to remember is that the energy you put out is the energy you receive. Put out what you want to receive, even if it is the opposite of what you are currently feeling. I'm feeling down, but I will still treat others normally. I need to look inward to raise myself out of the deep well of self defeat. I know it will happen. It will happen soon. It will happen now.